A SINNER DOUBTS DOBBS

Dear Papa Joe,

 

Your page uh HEH I mean uh HEH it's uh, it's like just a joke right? I mean, uh, uh, heh HEH! You're not... I mean, it's like a parody right, like some kind of art thing right? I mean you're not really saying, uh HEH! are you? I mean uh, heh heh I mean I hate normals as much as the next guy but I uh heh, you're not uh. Uh HEH!

CONFIDENTIAL

 

PAPA JOE'S CONFIDENTIAL RESPONSE

 

Dear CONFIDENTIAL,

Don't worry. It IS just a joke. A parody. A satire. When X-day arrives, you have NOTHING to WORRY about. We just plan on having a big party and getting a lot of media attention, but no one will actually get hurt. But don't tell anyone else it's just a joke. It's much more funny if people think it might really be real. That way insiders like you and I can laugh about how silly the uninformed are being when they call the ATF and FBI to investigate us. Of course, they never actually FIND anything. What is there to find? No guns, no drugs, no buried bodies. Heck, they don't even respond to those calls anymore. Why should they? They heard it was just a joke... just like I'm telling you now.

Don't worry about the membership fee either. The people who send in $35 are just wasting their money. When X-day comes, they're going to wish they had invested that $35 in mutual funds because on July 5th, probably the only thing that's going to lift off into the heavens is the Dow Jones Industrial Average. Trust me, your money is better spent in an investment instead of a religious parody. When you're old and need expensive medical care, you'll look back and thank me for this advice.

I love to give free advice. It's worth every penny!

Yours in (satire) Bob,

Papa Joe