ANOTHER WAYWARD SINNER CONFESSES ALL

Dear Papa,

Sinning for "Bob" sounds like a great idea! But it is a new concept to me. Could you possibly explain it further. What is the difference between one who sins only for themselves and one sins for "Bob"? How does sinning for "Bob" bring Slack.

I believe my greatest sin is anger. I get so mad I want to just destroy everything and scream and bang my head against the wall. I'm actually quite sick of this recurring sin, and think it (combined with thinking too much) are probably my greatest obstacles to Slack. How can getting angry for "Bob" help me. How can "Bob's" excusing my rage help me come to terms with it?

SINcerely,

CENSORED

 

CONFIDENTIAL RESPONSE #1 (OF #2)

Dear CENSORED,

Anger directed at Bob is a sin. Anger directed THROUGH Bob is not. Channel your anger through Bob directly at the pinks and normals who do bidding for the con, making the little things go wrong that force you to get angry. It is unjust for the boss to dress you down and then have you go home and kick the dog. It is just and Bob-like to return to work the next day, quit your job, and kick your Boss's ass.

See the difference? The key is directing your anger into constructive paths towards the ones who deserve to feel it's pain. Taking it out on the wrong person or keeping it inside to hurt yourself is where the sin comes in. Let it flow- to the right target!

Yours in Bob,

Papa Joe.

 

A FOLLOW UP CONFESSION...

Dear Papa,

I appreciate the general advice you doled out from you subgenius pez dispenser, but I think my problem might require further confession than what I've given in order that you might give me more specific advice. I think I am understanding this concept of sinning for "Bob" and directing anger through "Bob", but I might have to ask you one more question to insure that I won't somehow misunderstand. That way I'll have absolutely NO excuse for pinking out.

 

The trouble I often have is that it seems that no matter how I direct my rage, it always seems to come back and slap me in the face leading to more rage in a vicious cycle, perhaps because it's true source is intangible is the reason I am having trouble directing it efficiently.

 

Right now I am working for my Dad who is a pink, and who has the same problem I have in spades. For one thing, I can't beat him up cause he's bigger than me, and for some reason I just can't quit. Every time I do something terrible happens like my car breaks down and won't go until I decide to go back to work as if something is trying to force me to confront and defeat my Father's pinkness, but every time I think I am going to, he or the demons controlling him, somehow succeed in pulling the old my strings to make me act like a compliant pink dupe. Oh it's HELL with a capitol H-E-L-L! The funny thing is that the bastard deep down has some redeeming qualities, and seems to hate the con like myself, but his demons are so clever they have succeeded in misdirecting his hate to the point that the channels have become dug in and no amount of karmic shock has yet been able to force him into rerouting his anger, which might as well be my anger, as they are one and the same. All I'm saying is that the rage is so deep seated that the source is elusive, and every time I vent it it comes back at me and exponentially increases.

 

"Bob" told me that once when he and I were walking in the woods some really nasty demons came and demanded to see the one whose thigh bears the mark of M'G'Lee, after this he claims to have taken me aside and marked me with a fake mark of M'Glee using a permanent marker, and it fooled the demons so they let us go. Do you know of this M'g'Lee. Perhaps this incident has some bearing on my current situation.

 

This is my confession,

CENSORED

PAPA JOE'S CONFIDENTIAL RESPONSE

 

Dear CENSORED,

I haven't heard of M'Glee, but that's probably been for my own protection. Concerning your Angst with Daddy-o, fear not: When X-day arrives, he'll be BEGGING your protection from the Xist Shock Troops. You only need to hang in there three more months, bud.

And about the recycling hate: Who ever told you that was a bad thing? It's like my problems with nightmares: I used to dread them, but now I write them down and collect them and find myself looking forward to them each night. Relax. Soak up the hate like a fine wine. You'll be surprised how fun it is if you only learn to enjoy it.

Yours in hate,

Papa Joe